Beware: This is a CAPESHIT cross-post.
Credit for art in the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/DCcomics/comments/13vsmfx/fan_art_etrigan_the_demon_by_me_hope_you_like_it/
What follows is a meditation on biting as hard as I bark on the topic of Batman, and Capeshit in General.
The Basic Idea:
The sort of Batman story that I advocate for can be described as something that fits neatly into the canon of established events, presents an opportunity for Batman to do Batman shit, may involve the weird or fantastical, and leaves us with characterizations across the board that we feel are consistent and just.
Whenever I imagine a particular story I think should be written, I imagine that they are played out in the format of an episode or two of Batman the Animated Series or New Adventures or Justice League or what-have-you. As I have said before and will repeat ad nauseum I think the animated show is the format of the future for the medium of Capeshit, and so I do this on purpose and with the purpose of inculcating this doctrine in you, the reader.
The characters for our story today are:
Batman, caped crusader, dark knight, and prince of Gotham.
John Constantine, the Hellblazer, man of artifice, avarice, and absynthe.
Jason Blood/Etrigan, the rhyming demon and attached knight doomed together to march on towards justice on earth for all of time.
Azrael, cryptic warrior of St. Dumas, wielder of the swords of Sin and Salvation, the unholy saint of Gotham.
Zatanna, mistress magical, backwards talker, fishnet wearer
Lucifer, Lord of Hell
The Demons Three, bad poker players and lesser demons in service to Lucifer
The characters and events of this story are influenced most strongly by my personal headcanon for those characters which is most closely drawn from the Timm-verse shows, comics from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and deep meditation done here on this very website.
I would say you need no more than a passing knowledge of Batman, Hellblazer, Lucifer, and Zatanna in order to wrap your head around the events here. This story takes place roughly 9 months after Dick Grayson’s departure from Gotham, and from being Robin in the Dynamic Duo.
The object here is to produce a beat sheet of sorts, a linearly stipulated series of events, ideas, feelings and moments that read in order should tell you everything you need to know about an episode or issue without going into the detail of a true script and stage directions.
BATMAN: THE BLOOD OF JASON
Episode Start: Title Card is a shadow of a man in a trenchcoat against a belfry engulfed in flame
-Batman is on patrol, talking to Alfred over the Batmobile comms, he tells Alfred he is nearly done for the night, but has to do a favor for a friend. The Batmobile speeds into the night along the Gotham highway towards the edge of the city, afterburners keening.
-A cornerstore in a dirty neighborhood is on fire, the large pane of glass that is the front of the store reads “ZATARA’S MAGICAL SUPPLIES AND CONSULTING” in golden embossed letters. Immediately concerned, Batman tells Alfred over comms to call the fire department and jumps from the vehicle, sprinting to the door. Trying the doorhandle, it swings open. The Batman snarls, someone is here. He creeps inside, someone is rooting around in Zatara’s office, going through his drawers until he comes up with a peculiar looking claw clutching a scroll. Batman grabs the hand that holds the item as the building around them burns.
-A surprised John Constantine yells bloody murder before calming himself in Batman’s grip. He remarks that the old Bat looks as fit as ever. Batman does not seem amused, and asks if Zatara knows that John is here or if John asked permission to take whatever it is he is taking, and if he realizes the building is on fire. John explains the item is of little consequence, really a minor bauble he needs to get one over on a lesser demon. Batman interrupts and grabs him and hurls him through the wall into the street as the roiling flames cause the ceiling to cave in.
-Constantine lays panting on the sidewalk for a moment before being covered by the shadow of the Batman, who holds him up by the collar, asking why he felt it necessary to burn down Zatara’s place to steal a single magical artifact. Constantine shoves Batman away and says he is here trying to stop the two who are actually setting the fires, and pointing the artifact in the air, blasts a cone of magical energy at the building, which blows away the second and third floor walls fire and smoke and reveals the white robed and chainmail clad form of Azrael, pinned down under the twin white and gold flames of the swords of Sin and Salvation under a massive yellow demon.
-Batman throws a batarang at the demon, which explodes with enough force to cause it to stand off of Azrael and address Batman and Constantine, saying a rhyme in address to them that causes Batman to query: “Etrigan…?” before the demon hops into the air and massive scaled wings spout from his back to carry him into the night sky. Azrael rolls and jumps down from the second floor of the building and without stopping to address either of them, springs and jumps onto a nearby fire escape and then rooftop to follow the demon into the city.
-Constantine catches Batman’s arm as he moves to follow, saying that even if he caught up there isn’t anything he could do to stop Etrigan’s rampage. He holds up the bauble and explains that he had followed Etrigan here after learning that the demon had recently received a promotion in Hell after being on Lucifer’s shit-list for the last 900 years. The promotion it seems has caused Etrigan to subsume Jason Blood entirely, having broken some part of the curse that bound them together, but Etrigan was now running wild. It seems that somehow Azrael ran into him before John could and now the two of them were bounding around the city causing a ruckus and destruction wherever they met.
-Batman turns from Constantine and hops into the Batmobile. John asks where he is going and Batman says they will figure it out as they go, and tells John to get in and strap in. John does so with apparent glee. As Batman drives very very fast, John unrolls an old map of Gotham from a coat pocket and traces in magic several spots he says the two have already been tonight, Batman immediately recognizes an incomplete pentagram made up of magical or religious locations in the city. There are only two places left, the Old Gotham Belfry, and Slaughter Swamp. John says the swamp would make the pentagram all wonky, and to head to the belfry. Batman guns the throttle and the jet engines kick to life.
-They arrive to find the belfry in flames, chunks of masonry falling from on high. Both men dismount the Batmobile, and sprint into the belfry. Inside through the circular stairs up, they can see Etrigan laying waste to Azrael at the top of the tower. Constantine points the item upwards and mutters an incantation, the item fizzles, cracks, and sparks into flames in his hands as Etrigan laughs a bellowing cawl from the top of the tower down at them. Constantine declares this is far more serious than he initially assumed, and tells Batman he needs to buy him time. Batman sprints up the stairs, picking up the swords of sin and salvation from the stairwell where they have fallen during the fight, and stands over the body of Azrael against the 12 foot tall demon. Constantine descends the tower, tapping a sigil into the lowest wall which reveals yet another staircase that descends lower and lower into the bowels of the earth, until laughter and light can be seen from a doorway deep below.
-Constantine flips off a demonically deformed bouncer and makes his way into what looks like a classic dive bar patroned and staffed exclusively by demons. He approaches a poker table where three demons bicker over who has the worse hand, all grow quiet and then sneer in unison as John draws closer.
-Constantine in the demon bar informs the Demons Three that the time for their gambling debts to be forgiven has come, he is cashing in his favor. He says he needs to see the boss. The three look at eachother nervously and say that isn’t really a spur of the moment thing, they’ll need time. Constantine raises his hands and utters an incantation saying they are bound by their word of deby as demons and must acquiesce to his right of request. They cower, and open a portal behind them, dragging him through.
-Above, Batman barely holds his own against Etrigan, the swords are not happy to be wielded by him, blue and gold fire spurts off of them and burns him as he swings. Etrigan seems mostly immune to their normally powerful effects, so Batman goes back to his old ways, throwing down the swords and going into his utility belt.
-Constantine is taken to the Throne of Hell, atop a mountain above a lake of fire where Lucifer immediately vaporizes The Demons Three for even bringing him here. Lucifer is in his beatiful form as a very tall blonde man in a white robe. He agrees to hear Constantine out, as he always has something amusing to say. Constantine says that Lucifer has made a mistake in promoting Etrigan, and that he doesnt deserve it. Lucifer asks how John could possibly think that, he is up there right now beating the snot out of some freak who thinks he is a saint. Lucifer conjures a mirror which shows the battle atop the belfry. Constantine tells Lucifer to look closer. Lucifer watches intently as Batman abandons the swords of Sin and Salvation.
-Batman now observed remotely by Lucifer and John (unbeknownst to him) manages to ambush the Demon in the smoke, and ring him in the bell, its sacral tones temporarily stunning Etrigan. He takes the opportunity to attach a resonance amplifier from his utility belt to the bell and blast Etrigan with the sound of the bell, which sends Etrigan into a frenzy, Etrigan bites down on Batman’s arm.
-Below, in hell, Lucifer exclaims that surely The Batman is done in now, the Bite of the demon is poison most foul, but Constantine takes the opportunity, and asks for a wager. If Batman can push Etrigan off the Belfry, Lucifer will demote him. Lucifer halfheartedly agrees, busy observing the battle as he leans in closer to the mirror. Behind his back, John scrawls something onto a piece of paper which he folds, twists, and bursts into sparkles in his fingers.
-Batman now has one dead arm, which he swings like a mallet into the bell to ring it louder as Etrigan stumbles around. As he is looking at the bell, a message appears on it inscribed: “Push him off! -John”
-Batman grits his teeth and renews his assault, countered equally by the weakened demon, the Demon grows stronger with every blow, Batman weaker but his aggression is renewed.
-Lucifer smiles wickedly, and declares that it appears John will finally be losing a wager after all, John grits his teeth, and tells Lucifer that despite all evidence to the contrary, the Lord of Hell must not pay much attention to Gotham.
-Batman whirls, cartwheels, picks up the sword of salvation, and jabs it into the demon, sending him stumbling back to the edge of the Belfry, where from he falls into open black space.
-Lucifer exclaims with frustration and looks back to John, who smiles smugly through a cigarette. Lucifer waves his hand, and smirks. “Wish. Granted.”
-Above, Batman watches Etrigan fall for a moment before horror crosses his stoic features, as Etrigan in mid air transforms back into Jason Blood. Batman dives off the tower, wraps Blood in his cape, and the two impact a parked car 7 stories down.
-Batman awakes lying on a dining table to ash landing on his face in a darkened boudoir apartment. Jason Blood, John Constantine, and Zatanna Zatara stand over him. Constantine is floating, smoking, upside down, and apparently in excruciating pain though biting down on a cigarette half smoked. Upon Batman rising from the table, Zatanna releases Constantine who falls roughly to the floor.
-Zatanna explains that John managed to get the both of Batman and Blood back to Blood’s apartment and called her immediately. Azrael had already left by the time John had reached the top of the belfry. Batman shakes her hand, saying its good to finally meet her as Zatara and Robin had spoken of her favorably and often, and that he is sorry about her father’s store, and makes to leave. Zatanna exclaims that its insane that he can even walk, let alone want to leave, to which Batman does not respond, leaving through the large window into the night, as the Bat Symbol gleams against the clouds.
-Jason Blood states that the Dark Knight is now on the mind of the king of hell, thanks to Constantine. Constantine chortles. “You know, if there is one bloke who can deal with having the evil eye on him. Its Batman. Besides, it’s basically your worse half’s fault.” Zatanna looks worriedly out the window into the night. “I see where Dick gets it from…”
-Constantine laughs uproariously, “You WOULD be with a guy named DI-” Zatanna teleports him away. Jason Blood sighs.
Zatanna turns to Jason Blood, “What did you do to get… uh… him, promoted anyway?” Blood sneers, “I couldn’t say. The machinations of Hell still escape me at times.”
-In Hell, Lucifer lounges over a city block on a scale model of Gotham, picks up a tiny boy figurine, and smiles wickedly, tossing it into a sidestreet whose sign reads: Crime Alley. “Jason… Jason…” he croons softly.
The War against crime continues, the Batman lives to strike fear another night, and the greater powers of Hell are set in motion in Gotham. How this maek you feel? What, if anything, do you think of this? This is hopefully a positive representation of the sort of story I think belongs in Batman, and should be more widely part of the practices in Batman fiction. Capeshit is an evolving art and a science in its infancy, so there is always room to grow.
